An Ode to Spring
Ahh Spring that wonderfully magical time of year when you can tenuously stick your foot out the front door in the morning and breathe a sigh of relief that your toes don’t freeze immediately.
There is something about Spring that makes me want to throw everything I own away and start all over again.I want to burst outside and jog off the pecan pie pounds I gained over the Holidays and walk down the street smiling happily at all my neighbors who have also emerged from hibernation. Ahh spr–choo. And there it is, the horror that sends everyone running back inside.
The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping and the yellow snow is falling. Yep, you heard that right, God’s funny little joke that comes with the beauty and glory of Spring is pollen. Or as we call it here in the South, Palmetto Snow. I’m kidding, I just made that up, but seriously, we generally miss out on the silent majesty of the pretty white stuff. When we do get snow, an inch will shut down our whole state. However, come March and April, as soon as the daffodils start peeking out of the ground, and the azaleas start blooming their big beautiful blooms, when the dogwoods let you know Easter is around the corner and the begonias and petunias are at every mailbox the world turns a sickening shade of yellow.
Then the sneezing starts. The coughing and runny noses. The sinus headaches and sluggishness from allergies. “Why God why?”
Growing up in the South we get a tiny window of perfect, balmy weather before hell descends upon us. Our Summers typically feature temperatures so high that we are excited for a day that’s just 90 degrees. We call sweating glistening because otherwise we would have to admit that, we walk around sweating buckets. The real horror of a Southern Summer, however, is the humidity. The air is so thick and hot that breathing can be torture. And even though every year we know it’s coming, every year we say, “I don’t remember it being this humid last year.”
So we have Spring. It is beautiful. The sky is as blue as it possible. The flowers are as colorful as all the colors of the rainbow.
Spring is our window, when we get to walk outside without losing a gallon of water weight immediately. Spring is our window when we get to take walks without looking like we just took a really gross shower. Spring is our window where we can touch our steering wheels without getting second degree burns. So we deal with the hay fever, the runny noses, The sneezing, the watery eyes. And somewhere in some office building the allergy companies sign a pact with the devil to keep torturing us every year to pad their bottom lines. Well played guys, well played.